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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2930
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About PerditaDessa : I'm one of those people your parents warned you about. If you'd like to speak with me anyway, suggest me a book.

English isn't my first language, so if you do message me please keep that in mind.

PerditaDessa's page activity

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PerditaDessa's FML badges

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You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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PerditaDessa's favorite FMLs

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (4786)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41495) - you deserved it (3890)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (7726)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (4716)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37804) - you deserved it (3615)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (3764)

On 12/02/2014 at 2:52am - kids - by xmassmasher - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36446) - you deserved it (3097)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (3210)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (7812)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (4566)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26584) - you deserved it (53168)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (41094) - you deserved it (3970)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (2192)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm - misc - by badprofessor - United States (New York)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML


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  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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