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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Peow09

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Peow09
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 December 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 299
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Peow09's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51893) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

#5185594 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (4093)

On 09/11/2009 at 10:48am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (10705) - you deserved it (32125)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84473) - you deserved it (17442)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (2053)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I got shoved into a wall and pickpocketed. I was already in a bad mood from being dumped, so I chased the guy, tackled him so hard he was knocked out. As I retrieved my things, the police arrested me and apparently the robber was the cop's son, and didn't believe my statement. FML

#5038784 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (48431) - you deserved it (1692)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:14am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

#4787214 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (42060) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (3741)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (40585) - you deserved it (11982)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (50097) - you deserved it (9423)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (46804) - you deserved it (2088)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (47234) - you deserved it (7291)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (37926) - you deserved it (12405)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (5205)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)