Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PenguinBitch

Search for a member

PenguinBitch

59Fucked!

PenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13907
  • Number of comments : 1097
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hey everyone. Things I enjoy...
-I enjoy paddle boarding every Sunday
-I volunteer at an animal shelter during my free time
-I also partake in fencing and do my share with the community Jazz Club. The enormous lie I'm telling you still doesn't compare to the size of your mom's ass.
Here since 2012 I recall....save yourself

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - 11 hours ago<b>bunnylove483</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Zigstyle308</b> - 21 hours ago<b>stereomommy</b> - 24 hours ago<b>sam882</b> - 24 hours ago<b>2nd</b> - yesterday at 7:04am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - yesterday at 6:24am<b>prissysgirl16</b> - yesterday at 11:47am<b>xWhymex123</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:44am<b>saffy66</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:23am<b>MatthewDemirjian</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:13am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:33pm<b>AlexanderIsLife</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:09am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:07am<b>nonsensical</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:00am<b>AnonymousZOMBIE</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:54pm<b>lemonless</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>Zigstyle308</b> - 15 hours ago<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:50am<b>seetei</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:14am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:48pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:41am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:01am<b>interesting33</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:08pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:17am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:47am<b>Drarry</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:17am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:25am<b>allykaymorris</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:06am<b>skye147</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:03am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:53pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:21pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (8372)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (17695)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37969) - you deserved it (5937)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42469) - you deserved it (4690)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (3646)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31970) - you deserved it (3339)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (5088) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (1828)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you deserved it (3381)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (1971)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27684) - you deserved it (2546)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (2615)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26970) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: