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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6986
  • Number of comments : 870
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Movie fanatic
Clash of clans addict
Message me if y'all want to talk or so, I like meeting new people. Other than that, Happy Fml'ing!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>windell</b> - 7 hours ago<b>diesel_power</b> - yesterday at 10:56pm<b>cohnsonj</b> - yesterday at 9:20pm<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:59am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:34pm<b>msunique_me</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:21pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:45pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:06pm<b>billiejoeinabox</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:08pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:43pm<b>arrowhead235</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:15am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:56pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:45pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:33pm<b>EnderWolf1013</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:06am

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (3147)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46324) - you deserved it (7919)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (7542)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (8773)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28159) - you deserved it (7415)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (5674)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38981) - you deserved it (5368)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (7148)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10885) - you deserved it (32780)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

#20444637
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (1480)

On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (5207)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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