PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

92Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17612
  • Number of comments : 1124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.

The ruthless Galactic Empire will eventually meet its demise under strategic attacks by Narnian-born, Admiral Albus Gandalf, commanding the U.S.S Hogwarts to destroy the ring in the fiery pits of the Death Star.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:30am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:50pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:57am<b>demonpuppeh</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 1:24am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 9:03am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:43pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:32am<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:09am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:05pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:54am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:45am<b>Sudoc</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 7:03am<b>lizgb80</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 7:56am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:42pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:06pm<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 8:43am<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:01am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:50am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:43pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:09am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:02pm<b>TripleDallas123</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jay11kpt</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>klutz44</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:10am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:01am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:18am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:26am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

by KingUrge / 04/26/2013 at 4:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

by sad guy / 04/26/2013 at 1:20am / United States / Love

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

by emma_waters23 / 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

by goingtobeevicted / 04/25/2013 at 2:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Love

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 1:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

by lamelifeguard / 04/19/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

by some people's parents / 04/18/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy