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PenguinBitch

59Fucked!

PenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13910
  • Number of comments : 1097
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hey everyone. Things I enjoy...
-I enjoy paddle boarding every Sunday
-I volunteer at an animal shelter during my free time
-I also partake in fencing and do my share with the community Jazz Club. The enormous lie I'm telling you still doesn't compare to the size of your mom's ass.
Here since 2012 I recall....save yourself

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - 20 hours ago<b>bunnylove483</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Zigstyle308</b> - yesterday at 2:14pm<b>stereomommy</b> - yesterday at 11:31am<b>sam882</b> - yesterday at 10:56am<b>2nd</b> - yesterday at 7:04am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - yesterday at 6:24am<b>prissysgirl16</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:47am<b>xWhymex123</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:44am<b>saffy66</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:23am<b>MatthewDemirjian</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:13am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:33pm<b>AlexanderIsLife</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:09am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:07am<b>nonsensical</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:00am<b>AnonymousZOMBIE</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:54pm<b>lemonless</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>Zigstyle308</b> - 24 hours ago<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:50am<b>seetei</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:14am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:48pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:41am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:01am<b>interesting33</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:08pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:17am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:47am<b>Drarry</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:17am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:25am<b>allykaymorris</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:06am<b>skye147</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:03am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:53pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:21pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

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How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54298) - you deserved it (2859)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42089) - you deserved it (5653)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30626) - you deserved it (44999)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49298) - you deserved it (27736)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83279) - you deserved it (4355)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48927) - you deserved it (9351)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50558) - you deserved it (9754)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (4140)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42988) - you deserved it (12543)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53629) - you deserved it (8669)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45049) - you deserved it (4476)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60922) - you deserved it (20312)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38871) - you deserved it (17509)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62735) - you deserved it (11244)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44774) - you deserved it (8413)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom



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