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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7917
  • Number of comments : 914
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : I change my profile pic a lot. ALOT. Hello FML'ers. Been here since 2012 and met some interesting users.about my pics. The first one is me :>. Okay, the second one is at a car convention I attended last year.
The third pic is my new clan formed with my friends. We're recruiting and would love to have new members. Anyone can join! Message me for Clan Name and my username so you'll know you're in the right clan.
I respect every user here, my favorite user is my good friend Welshite. Well shit, I guess that's all I have to say. You can ask for my Instagram and we can follow for follow and be friends and be..*outside voice* "they don't care you dweeb! "

HAPPY FML'ling!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Aero_x</b> - 7 hours ago<b>vintageart1994</b> - 7 hours ago<b>josephinema</b> - 9 hours ago<b>This_Chica</b> - 9 hours ago<b>ksadhera</b> - 10 hours ago<b>lvchadaren</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Orphic</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Queen_Jaay</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Black_Ink</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Tika876</b> - 11 hours ago<b>omgbrainZ</b> - 12 hours ago<b>DomiLove</b> - 14 hours ago<b>lennon_</b> - 15 hours ago<b>kikipanikoula</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Rinat</b> - 15 hours ago<b>sleepwalker13</b> - 15 hours ago<b>lisslyi</b> - yesterday at 1:45am<b>jaydoug92</b> - yesterday at 11:58pm

Liked!<b>sarah5745</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:15am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 7:10am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:29pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (19377)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36668) - you deserved it (9739)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48255) - you deserved it (14400)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (2572)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49455) - you deserved it (24470)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41295) - you deserved it (3827)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (37038)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37214) - you deserved it (2854)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29795) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43969) - you deserved it (6710)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61475) - you deserved it (5379)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35373) - you deserved it (6783)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36744) - you deserved it (10633)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (7313)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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