Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PenguinBitch

Offline (the 07/12/2015 at 9:45am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

75Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14560
  • Number of comments : 1113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Happy FML'ling.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:57pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:17pm<b>EpicDudeX1</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:25pm<b>FailStaff</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:25pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:51am<b>worstgradesna</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:52pm<b>tylertexans</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:27pm<b>NotLemon</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:25pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:05pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:32am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 11:19am<b>pollymo14</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:58am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:29am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:21am<b>afrostybird</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:35pm<b>freddy562</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:10am<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:12am

Fucked!<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - 6 hours ago<b>kylalaffertyy</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:28pm<b>NotLemon</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:25pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:32pm<b>pollymo14</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:12am<b>carilica</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Unbearable</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:16am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:21am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:12am<b>RektRules</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:04am<b>sp00derman</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:41am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:32pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:31am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:14pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:50am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (47867)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57593) - you deserved it (3961)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59040) - you deserved it (18709)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34873) - you deserved it (4217)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (3356)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (4837)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51676) - you deserved it (13947)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (12513)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59661) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47838) - you deserved it (6340)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63533) - you deserved it (9604)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63184) - you deserved it (7354)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (43911)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62514) - you deserved it (3332)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (76323)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: