About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.
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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs
by Amber / 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Work
by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by seriously / 05/24/2013 at 3:04am / United States / Animals
by Snurkles McGee / 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 4:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Jes_jes18 / 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm / United States / Love
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
by wtfisgoingon / 04/28/2013 at 6:30am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…