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PenguinBitch

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 10:50am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7306
  • Number of comments : 884
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Excuse the username, I am a gentleman.

Happy Fml'ing!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>incognito1520</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ca12</b> - 18 hours ago<b>tehaustiebear</b> - yesterday at 1:06am<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:50am<b>Noremac42</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:02am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:55am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:12am<b>groovy579</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:04pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:40pm<b>TombRaider</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:06pm<b>mister_icicle</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:51pm<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:25am<b>Klivefrog</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:18am<b>Crossslide69</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:07pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:05am<b>fader48080</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:20pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53297) - you deserved it (8641)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (4450)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60531) - you deserved it (20224)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (17185)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59703) - you deserved it (10730)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (8327)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47276) - you deserved it (4877)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46638) - you deserved it (3208)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

#20579736
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30777) - you deserved it (2091)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39384) - you deserved it (6068)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43042) - you deserved it (5204)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (65523)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58839) - you deserved it (5943)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (5176)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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