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PenguinBitch

Offline (the 07/12/2015 at 9:45am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

76Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14864
  • Number of comments : 1113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Happy FML'ling.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>SuumahEli</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:04pm<b>guss5441</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:08am<b>Insanemf18</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:01pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:46am<b>fire_flies</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:07am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:57pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:17pm<b>EpicDudeX1</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:25pm<b>FailStaff</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:25pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:51am<b>worstgradesna</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:52pm<b>tylertexans</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:27pm<b>NotLemon</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:25pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:05pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:32am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 11:19am

Fucked!<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:26am<b>kylalaffertyy</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:28pm<b>NotLemon</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:25pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:32pm<b>pollymo14</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:12am<b>carilica</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Unbearable</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:16am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:21am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:12am<b>RektRules</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:04am<b>sp00derman</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:41am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:32pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:31am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:14pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60456) - you deserved it (7652)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56924) - you deserved it (8960)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62489) - you deserved it (9246)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50461) - you deserved it (9648)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (3834)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50082) - you deserved it (24831)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49546) - you deserved it (4152)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58555) - you deserved it (8234)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (32543) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53851) - you deserved it (3733)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47336) - you deserved it (3161)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63380) - you deserved it (22373)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45279) - you deserved it (14911)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65372) - you deserved it (5162)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43054) - you deserved it (5787)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -



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