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PenguinBitch

Offline (the 07/03/2014 at 2:21am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6402
  • Number of comments : 849
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hello. Feel free to send me a message if y'all wanna talk or so. I like meeting new people. Other than that, happy fml'ing! :)

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - 18 hours ago<b>BSnapZ</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:58pm<b>ApologyKick</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:43am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:54am<b>katydid91</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:30am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:50pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:04pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:52pm<b>___J____J__oo</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:18pm<b>swagboi69</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:12am<b>iBowdenzz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:49am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:47am<b>LifeMD</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:46am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:48pm<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Gravenmuir</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:33am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:55am

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (37540)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59983) - you deserved it (3162)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16868) - you deserved it (67126)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

#20623837
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (4832)

On 04/26/2013 at 8:21pm - kids - by Shitty genes, no two ways about it. (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (8294)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50743) - you deserved it (2600)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (5156)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (39857)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (24379)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72811) - you deserved it (3148)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45980) - you deserved it (8951)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (7495)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (3669)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (12356)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52490) - you deserved it (8546)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States



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