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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11227
  • Number of comments : 1067
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hello everybody! Uhh shoot me message and don't be a creeper yeah?
About PenguinBitch: I chose this name in hopes that it's easily recognizable and remembered. Name does not define the character, although 'Penguin' might mirror my likes of suits.

About me: I'm bilingual, going for trilingual. Movie goer. Business student. My favorites shows include Lost, Breaking Bad, and Greys Anatomy. I love sports. Played football and soccer. This site makes me laugh, especially the comments, so keep it up!!

Happy FML'ling!!

😬😊👊😡😢😪😤😎🐧

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>sethr_di</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Blizzicus</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Wizardo</b> - yesterday at 4:58pm<b>alars175</b> - yesterday at 3:23pm<b>kidinkbaby</b> - yesterday at 1:44pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - yesterday at 12:44pm<b>aylamarie93</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:17pm<b>maverick1752</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:42pm<b>RandomPersonWho</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:56am<b>doctor__who</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:03am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:58pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:27pm<b>ollis</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:58pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 6:33am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:14am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:08pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:42am<b>YippeKiay</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:53pm

Liked!<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:14am<b>ollis</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:03am<b>zikangtng</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:47am<b>feven</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ThatllDoDonkey</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:28am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:17pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:20am<b>gerardtheneko</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:17am<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Azang7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:44am<b>colby6666</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 4:15am<b>LaurenRoxsU</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:07am<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:44pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46250) - you deserved it (3080)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59684) - you deserved it (21044)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (14372)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63035) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42904) - you deserved it (5767)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42900) - you deserved it (6462)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58792) - you deserved it (6774)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47032) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (20736)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48783) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49994) - you deserved it (5750)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47570) - you deserved it (5890)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51636) - you deserved it (3675)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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