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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11865
  • Number of comments : 1069
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Good day

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>clairesucks</b> - yesterday at 2:32am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:32am<b>zanoty</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 12:58pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:21am<b>bobdill</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:20pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:03am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Paul19</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:12pm<b>sivadnahtanoj</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Georgia951</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:15pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:49am<b>thedukutree123</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:34am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Donald_Krump</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 3:31pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:02am

Liked!<b>clairesucks</b> - yesterday at 7:32am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:44am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:14am<b>ollis</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:03am<b>zikangtng</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:47am<b>feven</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ThatllDoDonkey</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:28am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:17pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:20am<b>gerardtheneko</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:17am<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Azang7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:44am<b>colby6666</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:53pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

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How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51844) - you deserved it (3559)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46656) - you deserved it (3114)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59726) - you deserved it (21056)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43574) - you deserved it (14377)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63079) - you deserved it (4977)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42930) - you deserved it (5769)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42928) - you deserved it (6462)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58838) - you deserved it (6775)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (4865)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (21474)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48807) - you deserved it (4401)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51802) - you deserved it (5943)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47606) - you deserved it (5895)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML



FML's blog

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  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

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