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PenguinBitch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7241
  • Number of comments : 881
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Excuse the username, I am a gentleman.

Happy Fml'ing!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Klivefrog</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Crossslide69</b> - yesterday at 4:07pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:05am<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:42am<b>fader48080</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:20pm<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:00pm<b>dettesuger</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:21pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:37pm<b>greekpride</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 2:50pm<b>mobslayer9000</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:40pm<b>ca12</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Metcape</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:34pm<b>PapaMoti</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:35am<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:41am<b>kellyb1094</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:26pm<b>laden_swallow09</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 4:46pm<b>trex454</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:19pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44332) - you deserved it (2964)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML

#20728759
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43357) - you deserved it (2826)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (3764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (3701)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47829) - you deserved it (20207)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53183) - you deserved it (6510)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47528) - you deserved it (3154)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (67745)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

#20714023
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50985) - you deserved it (3857)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

#20712915
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42985) - you deserved it (2933)

On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53315) - you deserved it (4047)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45032) - you deserved it (12077)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (6985)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)



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