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PenGuinnHD

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PenGuinnHD

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  • Number of visits : 240
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PenGuinnHD's favorite FMLs

TODAY, BOYFRIEND FINALLY SUCCEEDD IN UNHOOKING BRA WITH ONE HAND, EXCITEDLY EXCLAIMING, "BOOBIES BE FREE!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (11471)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, ( May the force be with you ). FML

#21041278
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41553) - you deserved it (12535)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, While Driving Home, Mah 3-year-old Daughter Told Me She Had To Poop. I Told Her That She Would Have To Wait Until We Got Home. When We Got Home, She Pulled Down Her Pants An Shat On The Floor, Because, "I'm Home Now." FML

#21040159
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45912) - you deserved it (9451)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough my mom decided to shout ( Yeah! Like a horse! ) I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58632) - you deserved it (5204)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, mah husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in mah screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, ( Where's the monster? ) FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53698) - you deserved it (32539)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, strict Christian mother walkd into room just after I'd finishd masturbating . Although dressd, I was still holding the usd tissue, which she noticd . Having to think looool fast to disguise ded and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow nose with the spunky tissue . FML

#21009159
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50711) - you deserved it (26330)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

2day marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learnd to masturbate. He humps hisheel an makes squeaking noises fir five minutes, then rolls over on his side an pants heavily. He does it at least twice a nighthile I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46062) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa !! FML

#20994621
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53204) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today I had to tell McDonald's that mah 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (12733)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrivd in the mail. We burid her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69258) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I Was Trying Out My First Vibrator. Soon Enough, My 12-year-old Sister Opened My Door, Walked In, And Saw Me Naked From The Waist Down. She Laughed, Called Me A Virgin, And Left. FML

#20574621
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52227) - you deserved it (17724)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today... I Woke Up To A Really Cold Feeling Down Below. I Opend Mah Eyes And Saw Mah Girlfriend Grinning Like A Maniac And Holding Mah Crotch-sausage Between Two Scissor Blades. I Screamd In Terror Like A Little Bitch... And She Says I'm Never Gonna Live This Down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was at a party, wan ta cops bustad us. Sinca I'm undaraga, I id baind a cair fir an our and a alf wila tay braatalyzad avaryona and sat tam in ta sama room I was in. Ta cops laft, avaryona raalizad I was baind ta cair, and looool now ma nicknama is "Anna Frank". maga FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (35686)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , after explaining to two year old that we were going bra shopping , he decided to announce to the entre bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. mega FML

#18561778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17067) - you deserved it (23198)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today.. . since I was taking a dump in mah wife's parents house.. . I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink . While still sitting down.. . I went to blow it out an apparently.. . no matter how strong of a man u are.. . u will still scream lyk a little grl if hot wax falls on your penis . FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (11181)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)



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