Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About PeartOfNeils : Just a college student. Rock is the best form of music and Neil Peart is the best fucking drummer known to man. If any questions are to be had, pm me
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML
Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
Friday 21 November 2014