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Pawgrape's favorite FMLs
Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML
by notadoorman / 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by fuckendog / 07/25/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone interview with a company. Excited, I prepared for the interview and conducted extensive research on the company. The interview ended within a minute. They'd got the wrong person. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 10:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML
by Kewl_Kat / 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML
by stupid older sister / 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Geek
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by I don't condome that, babe / 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML
by timv94 / 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by ThunderThighs / 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. It was so secret, in fact, that no one told… Today, the girl of my dreams told me she loved me, and I had to tell her that I wanted to spend the… Today,i attempted to weight the pig im raising for fair. Took me 20 minutes to get her close to the…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…