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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
by immaloser95 / 01/06/2015 at 4:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by evil Santa / 12/24/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
by koolkat9 / 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love
Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML
by #goodbyelife / 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids
Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML
by anon / 12/05/2014 at 10:44am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML
by anotherhuman / 11/30/2014 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML
by poor man / 11/26/2014 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Work
by bookworm / 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Donutsarelife / 11/19/2014 at 10:09am / United States / Geek