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Paulcs's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Paulcs's favorite FMLs
Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 6:57am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by klaatu barada nikto / 01/20/2015 at 8:23am / United States (Iowa) / Work
by 360whoroscoped / 01/16/2015 at 1:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by whoops.. / 01/15/2015 at 10:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by MovingOut / 01/15/2015 at 8:21pm / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines / Miscellaneous
by immaloser95 / 01/06/2015 at 4:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by evil Santa / 12/24/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
by koolkat9 / 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love
Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML
by #goodbyelife / 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids
Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML
by anon / 12/05/2014 at 10:44am / United States (Texas) / Work
- Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make… Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how… Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job…