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Paulcs's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Paulcs's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML
by lauris1306 / 01/31/2010 at 2:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
by Juggalette / 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2010 at 4:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 6:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML
by thelistman / 10/09/2009 at 9:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Imaginary girlfriend / 09/21/2009 at 12:16am / Love
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
by Bewildered / 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
by Amara1717 / 08/19/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy