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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
by Vastu / 02/07/2010 at 12:42pm / Nepal / Money
Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML
by lauris1306 / 01/31/2010 at 2:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
by Juggalette / 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2010 at 4:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 6:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML
by thelistman / 10/09/2009 at 9:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Imaginary girlfriend / 09/21/2009 at 12:16am / Love
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
by Bewildered / 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
by Amara1717 / 08/19/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous