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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML
by fedupson / 04/09/2015 at 10:03am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by NotALuckyGuy / 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by :O / 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
by usadisvet / 04/02/2015 at 2:43am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML
by Idigrespectfulattire / 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
by psh_idontbite / 03/12/2015 at 11:55pm / United States / Animals
Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML
by why they bomb / 03/09/2015 at 2:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
by jlol / 03/05/2015 at 9:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
by notdrivinganytimesoon / 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous