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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML
by Sleeping Beauty / 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
by PheobeBuffay / 12/11/2015 at 1:14pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/23/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by LadyLou / 11/03/2015 at 6:42am / Australia / Work
by Quicky5_ / 11/03/2015 at 1:58am / United States (Alabama) / Work
by fuck off you fucking shitburglar / 10/31/2015 at 6:20am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by JGarz / 10/10/2015 at 3:21am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 12:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by allergies / 09/18/2015 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML
by Ryoichi / 09/17/2015 at 7:13am / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm / Japan / Health
Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML
by bornfromhillbillies / 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous