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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
by allergies / 09/18/2015 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML
by Ryoichi / 09/17/2015 at 7:13am / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm / Japan / Health
Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML
by bornfromhillbillies / 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
by O0hdear / 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML
by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money
Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML
by thekyledavid / 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by Cygnus / 08/03/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
by funnnyyyyy -_- / 08/01/2015 at 4:29am / Nepal / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 9:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by elovan / 07/25/2015 at 4:33am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy