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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
by so scared / 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML
by ... / 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML
by AnonymousQuagga / 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML
by deargodthepain / 02/02/2014 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
by tsukinoie / 02/02/2014 at 1:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, while playing badminton at school, I got an opponent who is mentally handicapped. Since I'm terrible at the game, I guess the teacher assumed it would be a good match. I won the match, my first victory ever. My teacher accused me of cheating to humiliate him. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML
by Xpload / 01/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health
Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML
by FacebookStrikesAgain / 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm / Puerto Rico / Love
Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm / Iceland / Miscellaneous