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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids
Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 10:39am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML
by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 4:56am / Malawi / Miscellaneous
by PrincessPromotion / 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 11:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her… Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my… Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his…