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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Paulcs's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML
by Not so much of a teachers pet / 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mr_cheese / 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML
by sushipanda9 / 10/20/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
by Bartender / 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by queenmeme / 10/08/2014 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Animals
by epic174 / 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm / United States / Holidays
Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm / United States / Kids
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids