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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML
by Jim / 04/19/2016 at 1:25pm / United States / Kids
Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML
by MasterMcrib / 04/17/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Shotacon / 04/06/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 5:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son's first impression of our new neighborhood was to be yelled at by the first kid he tried to introduce himself to, because my son was on the edge of their lawn. Half-an-hour later, I got a lecture at the corner store, because the clerk thinks vaccinations caused my son's autism. FML
by ProudASDmom / 03/29/2016 at 10:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/16/2016 at 4:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML
by GetAnotherRoomAlready / 03/12/2016 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Thanks Trump / 03/08/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2016 at 3:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML
by and he wonders why I'm anxious / 02/25/2016 at 5:41pm / Netherlands / Health
- Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend,… Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I… Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got…