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Paulcs's favorite FMLs
by Shotacon / 04/06/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 5:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, my son's first impression of our new neighborhood was to be yelled at by the first kid he tried to introduce himself to, because my son was on the edge of their lawn. Half-an-hour later, I got a lecture at the corner store, because the clerk thinks vaccinations caused my son's autism. FML
by ProudASDmom / 03/29/2016 at 10:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/16/2016 at 4:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML
by GetAnotherRoomAlready / 03/12/2016 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML
by socknotes / 03/08/2016 at 11:02pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
by Thanks Trump / 03/08/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2016 at 3:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML
by and he wonders why I'm anxious / 02/25/2016 at 5:41pm / Netherlands / Health
by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML
by Sleeping Beauty / 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he… Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked… Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found…