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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Parkbench

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Parkbench
  • Town/Country : Earth
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 March 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 33167
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Parkbench : I'm a sarcastic girl who likes a good laugh!
Turning Hilary Duff into screamo:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-YwoefQRhc&fmt=18

Parkbench's last visitors

newzealandFentowndknighttwistedfallMulberryWet_Dreamdudeitsdanny

Parkbench's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Parkbench's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (1720)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (24038) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (5147) - you deserved it (47809)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lit some candles while waiting for my girlfriend to come over. I was trying to be romantic. Suddenly, I hear screaming from my bedroom. I run in thinking it was my girlfriend. Turns out my cat lit his whiskers on fire by sniffing the candles. FML

#6632857 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (3778)

On 12/06/2009 at 11:30am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

#6420753 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by PaperInfection (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (2309)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

#6050318 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (4613)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Quirk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (2646)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML

#5627700 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (1398)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by juliasaman - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (1954)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (27666)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

#3164567 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (1840)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

#2903114 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (10143) - you deserved it (64836)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiance's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (50982) - you deserved it (2713)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (59628) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)