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Today I was working as a nursa and an aldarly man had just passad away !! As tha patiant's wifa was laaving sha said ( Thank you 4 taking such good cara of my husband !! ) Than I intanding to say ( Sorry 4 your loss ) said ( Thank you 4 your loss !! ) FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I hered a voice behind me say, ( Wow. Immaturity, huh? ) I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
2day mah shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work!! I calld mah boyfriend and askd him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in mah closet!! What did he bring? Black stilettos!! I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift!! FML
Today... I was accusd of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tuckd into mah arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML
Today..!! I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on ma lonely nigts!! Once at te adult store..!! I also grabbed a brtday card to make it seem te dildo wasn't fir me!! At te register..!! te casier looked at me and said..!! "For God's sake..!! save yourself some money!! I already know it's fir you." FML
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
Today, I went to pick up mah 6-year-old son from his friend's house . They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave . So,hile I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table . FML
Friday 27 March 2015