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Paria12

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Paria12

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  • Number of visits : 1848
  • Number of comments : 1
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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51030) - you deserved it (34315)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50415) - you deserved it (5728)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (3773)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52413) - you deserved it (4799)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (7248)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (12065)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (4699)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (92215)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44751) - you deserved it (2804)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (39418)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (4903)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48215) - you deserved it (4831)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51652) - you deserved it (13508)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (41569)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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