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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (3027)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34414) - you deserved it (1899)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (17825)
On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (9703)
On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3504) - you deserved it (37960)
On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (1480)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States
Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8350) - you deserved it (22754)
On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (4359)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (452)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15165) - you deserved it (1190)
On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16090) - you deserved it (2442)
On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6126) - you deserved it (19368)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15119) - you deserved it (2856)
On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (1296)
On 11/28/2012 at 10:14am - work - by hawksbc (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Friday 24 May 2013
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