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Paria12

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Paria12

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  • Number of visits : 1943
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Paria12's favorite FMLs

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (1861)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33924) - you deserved it (5522)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (61041)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (1682)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

#20106327
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (2127)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by working_as_usual (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (4206)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22029) - you deserved it (11908)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (3281)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18101) - you deserved it (2324)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (12539)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59540) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (1893)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

#20076161
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28939) - you deserved it (1614)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - France

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (3783)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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