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Paria12

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Paria12

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  • Number of visits : 1388
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Paria12's favorite FMLs

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (6814)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (6833)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (1850)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (4067)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (2800)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10193) - you deserved it (40516)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (3591)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30595) - you deserved it (1750)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (2260)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10561) - you deserved it (34411)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (4234)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17826) - you deserved it (1717)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74840) - you deserved it (8763)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)



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