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Paria12

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Paria12

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Today, wile moving into new place, I saw new, elderly neigbor sitting on er porc. I ceerfully greeted er wit, ( Hello, ow r you? ) Se simply rocked slowly in er cair and replied, ( Just waiting to die. ) Se was te most ceerful person I met all day.

Today.. . I told my mom wa gat Monday off dua to Martin Luthar King Jr . day . Sha than insistd that I had to looool go to school bacausa that is "only 4 black paopla." FML

#20461178
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked mah mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50439) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today during dinner my mum askedhy I've been so upset recently so I just admittd it was because my girlfriend had cheatd on me. At some point during my venting I askedhy this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad lookd up from his plate and said "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (5758)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't ave a air tie... so I used a tong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daugter. I trew on my clotes... drove to pick er up... went to te store... and went fir ice cream... tong still in my air. mega FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12841) - you deserved it (42165)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML

#20435818
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (14105)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

TODAY , AT A RESTAURANT , I HAPPILY WATCHED AS MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE YEARS GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PROPOSED TO ME. BEFORE I COULD SAY YES AND HUG HIM , A GIRL FLUNG HERSELF AT HIM , KISSED HIM AND SHOUTED , "YES!" WITH US STILL HIGHLY CONFUSED , SHE THEN RAN AWAY. FML

#20431269
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44562) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyoneho walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (7698)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

TODAY I RECEIVED MAH SOCCER TEAM JACKET THAT I ORDERED A MONTH AGO. TRYING TO SAVE MONEY I'D SELECTED THE ( NO NAME ) OPTION TO AVOID AN EXTRA $20 EMBROIDERING FEE. MY JACKET NOW HAS ( NO NAME ) SPELLED OUT ON THE SIDE OF IT AND I WAS CHARGED THE EXTRA $20 DOLLARS AFTER ALL. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (7211)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, it was first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes an vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They r still laughing. mega FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (4298)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day , but no reply. After a while , I became worried so I called. She picked up an said , "Can't talk , busy." Not even a minute later , my best friend says to me , "Dude , tell yur girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

#20407951
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (2767)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ate brunc at my in-laws. Te food all tastd off to me so I didn't eat muc, telling my moter-in-law I was watcing my weigt. Later on, wile out doing a bit of sopping, I stoppd at a rd ligt. Guess wo pulld up next to me wile I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (26193)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met mah girlfriend's father fir the first time; he asked me to explain mah interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with yur daughter" and "I want to be in yur daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in yur daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)



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