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Paria12

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Paria12
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Paria12's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12669) - you deserved it (15986)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (4930)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (2134)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

#20000538
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12944) - you deserved it (8537)

On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

#20000050
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (1203)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by Lara (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (1809)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45727) - you deserved it (7546)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

#19993921
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15680) - you deserved it (2033)

On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

#19987101
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19093) - you deserved it (5901)

On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4547) - you deserved it (32064)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (1527)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

#19985136
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4091) - you deserved it (33736)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (2084)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML

#19943631
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:21am - love - by BC94 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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