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About Paloma_Nicole : eho.. Names paloma yes, I'm a spaniard. I dnt give a shit about a lot of things. I like making friends its mad chill. So tlk to mee? Cool shitt. palomacancelo@yahoo.com
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11382) - you deserved it (39138)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (99482)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (60369)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60534) - you deserved it (13794)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML
I agree, your life sucks (70109) - you deserved it (3444)
On 05/01/2009 at 5:50am - intimacy - by amiadori (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113302) - you deserved it (7590)
On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55267) - you deserved it (32505)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36896) - you deserved it (14696)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61472) - you deserved it (12094)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (213756)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41193) - you deserved it (115409)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69689) - you deserved it (9704)
On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (252630) - you deserved it (34062)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77131) - you deserved it (6682)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45385) - you deserved it (372649)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
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