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About PaleInsanity : What's in a name: A friend of mine told me that he was the whitest boy in America. I told him I was the whitest girl. We bet a quarter (a whole quarter!) to see who was really the palest. I won. By a lot.
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TODAY, AFTER ROCKING MY ONE-YEAR OLD DAUGTER FIR NERELY TWO OURS, SE FINALLY FELL ASLEEP. AS I WENT TO LEAVE ER ROOM, I STUBBED MY TOE. I NOW AVE A BROKEN TOE, A SCREAMING CILD, AND A WIFE WO WILL BE SO PROUD TAT ER DAUGTER'S FIRST WORD IS ( FUCK! ) FML
Today Mah Dad And I Got Into A Fight Over Who Gets The Last Corner Piece Of The Brownies!! I Ended Up With A Black Eye And And A Sprained Wrist!! He Ended Up With The Brownie And Ran Away Laughing!! FML
Today , my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute cuz he trid to kill his mother!! He also told me we will be together forever!! I'm scard!! FML
Today , mah mom bakad cupcakas 4 mah visiting grandparants. Latar , I saw mah grandpa chowing down on tham. Evan latar , mah mom damandad to knowhy thara wara a dozan cupcaka wrappars on mah bad. I'va assantially baan framad by mah own grandpa , and am now groundad 4 a month. FML
after reading a very emotional article about always letting your lovd ones know how much you love them in case it's your last time seeing them, I went to my mom an told her how much I lovd her an how thankful I was 4 everything . Her reply? ( Shut up kid, Vince Vaughn is on Ellen ) . FML
Today... I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turnd around and saw about 30 of coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
yesterday I was on ma couc wen ma landlord walked in. He asked wat I was doing tere. I responded wit te same question. Apparently ma roommate forgot to call me an tell me tat our lease ended tree days ago. I am now standing in te parking lot wit all ma belongings , an it is raining. FML
Friday 27 March 2015