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PaladinAK

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PaladinAK
  • Town/Country : Anchorage, U.S.A.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 248
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PaladinAK's favorite FMLs

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (1351)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

#20120587
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15976) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (4098)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21031) - you deserved it (3806)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (15280)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (8807)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

#13188457
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (2055)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7519) - you deserved it (28803)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

#4346574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70072) - you deserved it (6377)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66477) - you deserved it (4550)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

#1667670
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (24382)

On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66312) - you deserved it (16921)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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