Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 October 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1258
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About PaintedTempest : I'm a cowgirl. My name is Elizabeth. My user name is based on my paint horse, Tempest.

Message me if you like. I like to chat. :) P.S. I'm not a stalker. At least I don't think I am. O.O

I love horses. We have 6 on our farm and I own three. I rodeo...barrel race to be exact and competitive ranch sorting. I also pole bend. I sort, cut, and herd cows. I jump, but I've never rode an English saddle. I do all of this on one horse, Snip.

Fav song: Cheater Cheater
Fav artist: Josh Abbot Band
Fav food: Steak
Fav animal: Horse
Fav color: Purple
Fav movie: The Hunger Games
Fav soda: Sprite
Fav drink: Orange Juice
Fav sport: Equestrian.
So, do me a favor. Hug a tree, talk to a brick wall, push a door that says pull, kiss a cow, and many more crazy, stupid things. Basically, imitate me. :) Yes I know...I have issues but am well loved :) (don't do what I say. You might wind up hurt)

PaintedTempest's page activity

Visits<b>Zaska</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:59am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:20am<b>poofnuggets</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:06am<b>Dodopy</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:31am<b>madsmay</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:11am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:54pm<b>hillbillyboy1993</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:08pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:20pm<b>XcRunner72</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:21pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 9:51am<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:58am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:13am<b>k_gils</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 2:18pm<b>ThePaul007</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:57am<b>cowleybh</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 2:29pm<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:28am<b>shibeep</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 6:46am<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 8:47pm

Fucked!<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:20am

PaintedTempest's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PaintedTempest's badges

PaintedTempest's favorite FMLs

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

by fucker43 / 06/02/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

by sleepy momma / 06/02/2013 at 2:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

by fuck you retail / 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

by unwilling redneck / 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

by Time for a haircut / 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

by disappointed dad / 05/19/2013 at 3:35am / United States / Kids

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

by PoorMe / 02/22/2013 at 8:06am / United States / Intimacy