About Paddackc : I read these because it makes me feel better about my life. Check out the stash!!!
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Paddackc's favorite FMLs
by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
by kitty shah / 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by creepedout / 07/31/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Intimacy
by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…