Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PUSSYFACE

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 7:27pm) | Search for a member

PUSSYFACE

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1940 (74 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1337
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PUSSYFACE : ALIAN

PUSSYFACE's page activity

Visits<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 3:42pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:13pm<b>Janiney</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:56am<b>parism143</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:49am<b>Rori</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:25am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 7:24am<b>kiamabab</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:59pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 10:37pm<b>Boo_bear_killer</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 1:55pm<b>AckireHowell</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 1:24pm<b>bitset</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 12:15pm<b>stuth186</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 4:29am<b>cody_rhoden</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 1:58pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 4:57am

PUSSYFACE's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PUSSYFACE's badges

PUSSYFACE's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59350) - you deserved it (5428)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

#20829596
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42869) - you deserved it (7180)

On 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50162) - you deserved it (3344)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49804) - you deserved it (8440)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49926) - you deserved it (3688)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59956) - you deserved it (6358)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47401) - you deserved it (7992)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60329) - you deserved it (8971)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

#20807824
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57080) - you deserved it (3869)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44879) - you deserved it (4197)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

#20806687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52564) - you deserved it (4106)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65000) - you deserved it (6592)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

#20802342
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55172) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/25/2013 at 1:47am - love - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60071) - you deserved it (7822)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: