About PSQ91 : Nach der Morgenröte, kam das Tagesgelb
In der Nacht waren wir blauer als die Farbe selbst
Jetzt ist alles monochrom
Der Mensch ist elektrisch
Seit du weg bist, bin ich ohne Strom
Es ist wahr, am Ende werden nur Narben bleiben
Die Schmerzen werden klein und groß mit den Jahreszeiten
Irgendwann werd auch ich auf ihre Bahre steigen
Du bist und bleibst mein grosses Fragezeichen.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (2989)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7698) - you deserved it (49157)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (7016)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10845) - you deserved it (20961)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (1456)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by francesa_loca - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (6230)
On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5838) - you deserved it (42599)
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12751) - you deserved it (37223)
On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47879) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (4338)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (1634)
On 09/06/2011 at 1:56am - misc - by Mattador - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (4855)
On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8895) - you deserved it (33240)
On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (3454)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (4886)
On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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