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PHP

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PHP

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 556
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About PHP : !?

PHP's page activity

Visits<b>symfora</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>jakers8424</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:52pm<b>LiztheKillah</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:47pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:15pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:03pm<b>PwnageKitty</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:44pm<b>EvanGauger</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:47am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:24am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:31pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:49pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:21pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:34pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:36pm<b>Fall3nAngel</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:33am

Fucked!<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 11:36am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:57am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:47am<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 8:18am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:19pm

PHP's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of PHP's badges

PHP's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (1664)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

#21445231
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (1471)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:02pm - work - by geek (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (38076)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25400) - you deserved it (2569)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (7198)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53943) - you deserved it (8363)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

#6677293
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (4772)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

#6343049
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (3477)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by shellbom (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94033) - you deserved it (15868)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52994) - you deserved it (6786)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
714 comments

I agree, your life sucks (745192) - you deserved it (56868)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89751) - you deserved it (33437)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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