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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 650
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About PHP : !?

PHP's page activity

Visits<b>lovinlife028</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 7:07pm<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:22am<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:25am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:40am<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:00pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:33am<b>symfora</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>jakers8424</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:52pm<b>LiztheKillah</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:47pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:03pm<b>PwnageKitty</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:08am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:44pm<b>EvanGauger</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:47am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:24am

Fucked!<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 11:36am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:57am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:47am<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 8:18am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:19pm

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PHP's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (1920)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (1626)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:02pm - work - by geek (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (38993)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (2607)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23417) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (12973)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29327) - you deserved it (7284)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML


I agree, your life sucks (54551) - you deserved it (8446)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (4821)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26534) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by shellbom (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (94996) - you deserved it (16069)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53598) - you deserved it (6831)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (758602) - you deserved it (62262)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (215474) - you deserved it (34399)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

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