Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PHATERTL

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

PHATERTL

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1632
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

PHATERTL's page activity

Visits<b>mylifeisgreat9</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:44am<b>kitten1800</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:57pm<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:11am<b>Ari1337</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:06pm<b>Stefanie88</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>carry_on</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:41pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 9:20am

PHATERTL's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of PHATERTL's badges

PHATERTL's favorite FMLs

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53042) - you deserved it (5261)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39540) - you deserved it (5225)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52723) - you deserved it (18612)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48750) - you deserved it (5688)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
205 comments

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (14794)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44645) - you deserved it (18032)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53057) - you deserved it (5539)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

#20935219
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (2489)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:57am - work - by KatieElizabeth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46969) - you deserved it (4699)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (65524)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65262) - you deserved it (6608)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54996) - you deserved it (3645)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59394) - you deserved it (6971)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: