Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PHATERTL

Search for a member

PHATERTL
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 426
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

PHATERTL's last visitors

Ari1337Stefanie88carry_onstevenJB

PHATERTL's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of PHATERTL's badges

PHATERTL's favorite FMLs

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26927) - you deserved it (2977)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10997) - you deserved it (39895)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (9968)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (2938)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

#10974262
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (18329)

On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7115) - you deserved it (29940)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
182 comments

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (2582)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12765) - you deserved it (2105)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44476) - you deserved it (3426)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (43665)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54469) - you deserved it (4486)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15110) - you deserved it (44843)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40792) - you deserved it (7037)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (14732)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: