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PHATERTL

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PHATERTL

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1221
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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PHATERTL's page activity

Visits<b>mylifeisgreat9</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:44am<b>kitten1800</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:57pm<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:11am<b>Ari1337</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:06pm<b>Stefanie88</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>carry_on</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 5:41pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 9:20am

PHATERTL's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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PHATERTL's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52379) - you deserved it (5050)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42153) - you deserved it (15781)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51806) - you deserved it (7011)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63858) - you deserved it (8108)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52201) - you deserved it (19063)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58427) - you deserved it (8285)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38668) - you deserved it (6682)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65351) - you deserved it (32716)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43061) - you deserved it (4698)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51097) - you deserved it (5077)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39415) - you deserved it (5219)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52557) - you deserved it (18574)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48636) - you deserved it (5674)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments


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