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PChen

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PChen
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  • Number of visits : 484
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6220) - you deserved it (87399)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (106532)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (199701) - you deserved it (58892)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (462214) - you deserved it (574144)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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