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P4R4N0ID
  • Town/Country : New York City, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 July 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1121
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About P4R4N0ID : I'm Ana(:

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Today, I treated myself to a spa day at home. First, I decided to do a hot oil treatment on my hair. I was leaning over the saucepan of oil on the stove when it flared up in my face. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about plucking my eyebrows. FML

#1800001
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (36591)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by torchy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (44768)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22197) - you deserved it (76824)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63687) - you deserved it (33785)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20734) - you deserved it (78248)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door, a clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was ok. I have to go back next week. FML

#1591881
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51950) - you deserved it (7507)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by alpine75 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

#1590402
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (22814)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Sally256 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

#1588127
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45655) - you deserved it (7509)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by TooShort (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61045) - you deserved it (2605)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
992 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58852) - you deserved it (643149)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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