Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OzzMonster

Search for a member

OzzMonster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 196
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About OzzMonster : .

OzzMonster's page activity

Visits<b>missinthebestie</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:31pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 6:51am<b>birdeye1524</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:22pm<b>Tari</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Demoniq</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:09am<b>hockeybear77</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:18am<b>lirideout</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:06pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:55pm<b>ssmckenzie15</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:27pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:20pm<b>brn_baby_brn</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:04pm<b>Genociiide</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:44pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:26pm<b>teazyfisher</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:11pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:10pm<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 11:12am

OzzMonster's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of OzzMonster's badges

OzzMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

#21141882
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (3894)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50885) - you deserved it (6983)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48992) - you deserved it (4383)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (15322)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45654) - you deserved it (10267)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16523) - you deserved it (67271)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37730) - you deserved it (20044)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49891) - you deserved it (18145)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

#21130965
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (3573)

On 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

#21129038
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38617) - you deserved it (3251)

On 05/02/2014 at 7:03pm - misc - by nopleasestopmother (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: