OzzMonster

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OzzMonster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 531
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About OzzMonster : .

OzzMonster's page activity

Visits<b>jardy</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Danielinwits</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 7:00am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 7:28am<b>missinthebestie</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:31pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 6:51am<b>birdeye1524</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:22pm<b>Tari</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Demoniq</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:09am<b>hockeybear77</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:18am<b>lirideout</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:06pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:55pm<b>ssmckenzie15</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:27pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:20pm<b>brn_baby_brn</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:04pm

OzzMonster's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of OzzMonster's badges

OzzMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 3:02pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

by (not) fucked / 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

by bruised_scrotum / 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

by thanks4support / 05/14/2014 at 9:12am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

by nopleasestopmother / 05/02/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous