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OzzMonster's favorite FMLs
Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 3:02pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
by (not) fucked / 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by bruised_scrotum / 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
by thanks4support / 05/14/2014 at 9:12am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Chilaxe / 05/03/2014 at 6:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by nopleasestopmother / 05/02/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
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