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OysterPearls

Offline (the 02/25/2014 at 3:23pm) | Search for a member

OysterPearls

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OysterPearls : Hi, I'm Pearl and I love you.

I believe in a black Jesus.

If you're reading this right now, you should message me. For every moment you don't message me, a ladybug loses its spots.

Have a lovely day.

OysterPearls's page activity

Visits<b>Crusher74</b> - 2 hours ago<b>peacefulterroist</b> - 3 hours ago<b>bzrothschild</b> - 21 hours ago<b>msunique_me</b> - 21 hours ago<b>irilox</b> - yesterday at 2:06am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - yesterday at 1:11am<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:10am<b>Stealth_Pilot</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:14am<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:03pm<b>matt_0528</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:40pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:21pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:27pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:54pm<b>swaggy_t</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:21pm<b>Polaris365</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:42pm<b>RedSoloCup</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:19pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:34am<b>Johnny_Boy_Jr</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:14am

OysterPearls's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of OysterPearls's badges

OysterPearls's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (36887)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (7858)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45816) - you deserved it (5946)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (54752)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I performed in a rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar at my school. When it came time for my big solo, a whopping two lines, I forgot the words, making for an awkward eight seconds of silence. FML

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

#14681443
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10186) - you deserved it (39439)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:43am - money - by quarterback (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54852) - you deserved it (6489)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore



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