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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 April 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3404
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About OysterPearls : Hi, I'm Pearl and I love you.

I'm Looney for Looney ❤

message me if you dare, I've always loved talking to strangers. you never know who you might meet...

OysterPearls's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 8:08pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 1:52am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 3:53am<b>hare</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 9:58am<b>n3rd_smack3r</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 10:52pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 10:08pm<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 9:32pm<b>ilikedogs123123</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 8:08pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 7:28pm<b>Rais</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 3:49pm<b>Mons</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 10:48pm<b>Poyzin7323</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 10:37pm<b>waleedma</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 8:57pm<b>SlashingAverV2</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 6:48pm<b>drayloon</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 2:10pm<b>Ilsontfous</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 4:07pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:53pm<b>MothaTeresa</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 4:00am

Fucked!<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 7:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 1:28am<b>nofroe24</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 6:02am<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 5:50am<b>OlRed</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:15pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 9:22am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 6:46am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 7:26am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 5:49am<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 4:17pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:38am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 2:14am<b>Mons</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:53am<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:09pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 8:54pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:19am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:07pm

OysterPearls's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of OysterPearls's badges

OysterPearls's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard from multiple people that my girlfriend called me a dumbass because I apparently sent her "Good Morning" twice. We aren't even three full days into the relationship. FML

by J / 08/30/2016 at 1:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, Snapchat thought my double chin was a mouth. FML

by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

by an unlucky man / 08/05/2016 at 5:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML

by emancipate my ass / 07/24/2016 at 12:02am / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 11:15am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

by Xandriajoy10 / 01/30/2016 at 10:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

by looking4newvenue / 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm / United States / Health

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 2:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

by sam882 / 02/23/2015 at 1:49am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

by vaylosa / 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm / Work

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

by HaliMali / 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

by IngenuityAbsent / 02/22/2015 at 8:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

by awkward.. / 02/22/2015 at 12:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy