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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 900
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OysterPearls : Hi, I'm Pearl and I love you.

Unless you got the buns, my anaconda don't want none.

If you're reading this right now, you should message me. For every moment you don't message me, a ladybug loses its spots.

Have a lovely day.

OysterPearls's page activity

Visits<b>EmmaMK</b> - yesterday at 9:47am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:47am<b>sju91</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:26pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:46pm<b>boomstar</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:33pm<b>nightwoman</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:34am<b>drayloon</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:14pm<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:59am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:37am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 4:27am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:39am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:58pm<b>catqwertyuiop</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:46pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 3:58am<b>charissaoz</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:19pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:15pm<b>juliapereth</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:47pm<b>iris2288fml</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:22pm

Liked!<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:39pm<b>iris2288fml</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:22pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:43am

OysterPearls's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of OysterPearls's badges

OysterPearls's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (36010)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (37917)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML


I agree, your life sucks (46570) - you deserved it (8150)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45932) - you deserved it (5951)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (54849)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I performed in a rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar at my school. When it came time for my big solo, a whopping two lines, I forgot the words, making for an awkward eight seconds of silence. FML

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10223) - you deserved it (39526)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:43am - money - by quarterback (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML


I agree, your life sucks (55362) - you deserved it (6543)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

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Friday 26 September 2014

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