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Ouroboros

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Ouroboros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4722
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (37696)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

#8509924
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3149) - you deserved it (34725)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17695) - you deserved it (3980)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

#8499818
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (1700)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by Will - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (3366)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7857) - you deserved it (25849)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (4430)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

#8445631
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (4348)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:18pm - love - by wtfuraretard (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

#8435520
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7904) - you deserved it (18463)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (4365)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

#8404119
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20488) - you deserved it (5923)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:01am - misc - by mylifeisahell - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

#8402650
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (2458)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

#8397954
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Lizzielollipop816 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11192) - you deserved it (1551)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18409) - you deserved it (1688)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)



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