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Ouroboros

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Ouroboros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4711
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

#8675037
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5315) - you deserved it (13388)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44835) - you deserved it (2913)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50979) - you deserved it (2575)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (2768)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (2768)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12655) - you deserved it (27447)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

#8630482
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (20739)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Lespoon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (1510)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

#8605732
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15150) - you deserved it (3700)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

#8592124
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11760) - you deserved it (37597)

On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (6463)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

#8548832
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (1523)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (6386)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)



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