Ouroboros

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Ouroboros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8074
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's page activity

Visits<b>anonymuse</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:37am<b>mcspazz731</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:39am<b>katie55220</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:46am<b>idonotknow7</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 12:18am<b>Nusa1</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:02am<b>tetsuhiko</b> - the 04/23/2010 at 12:38am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 10:10am<b>wienerwagon</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 7:59pm<b>Memoohhh</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 4:02am<b>GinandJenkem</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 8:33pm<b>ZeroMachine</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 6:54pm<b>Sindyy</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 5:12am<b>angrynegro7</b> - the 03/18/2010 at 12:12am<b>wingedspiritus</b> - the 02/18/2010 at 6:59pm

Ouroboros's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

by pain / 02/26/2010 at 5:23am / Japan / Love

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

by Ringless / 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

by Ringless / 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

by compguy / 02/25/2010 at 10:39am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

by Lespoon / 02/25/2010 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

by koolkidx3 / 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

by argh / 02/24/2010 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

by anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 12:05am / United States (Montana) / Intimacy

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

by lendahandmanda / 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

by whyme_ss / 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2010 at 8:27am / Costa Rica (San Jose) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

by jerrid / 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

by anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 10:16am / United States / Love

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 6:58am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous