This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (8920)
On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6142) - you deserved it (26620)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14948) - you deserved it (1794)
On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (2139)
On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15117) - you deserved it (8381)
On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17900) - you deserved it (4361)
On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States
Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (2410)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13607) - you deserved it (4005)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7700) - you deserved it (14390)
On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (2262)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you deserved it (17456)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was upset that my boyfriend hasn't called in a while. Turns out, my step-mother blocked his number so he can't call. She never told me and, instead, just let me think he hated me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (1494)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5173) - you deserved it (12845)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - work - by militiousroflcopter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (1578)
On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20824) - you deserved it (2690)
On 02/28/2010 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
