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Ouroboros

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Ouroboros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4707
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (8963)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6266) - you deserved it (27265)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (1818)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (2624)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15637) - you deserved it (8494)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (5528)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18453) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14083) - you deserved it (4040)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9610) - you deserved it (20144)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20493) - you deserved it (2511)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6585) - you deserved it (22761)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was upset that my boyfriend hasn't called in a while. Turns out, my step-mother blocked his number so he can't call. She never told me and, instead, just let me think he hated me. FML

#8801800
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (1909)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

#8751170
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5318) - you deserved it (13267)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - work - by militiousroflcopter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (1599)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML



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