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Ouroboros

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Ouroboros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4747
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

#12332951
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (2448)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17872) - you deserved it (8434)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

#12114590
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (2704)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:22am - work - by anon - United States

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (2347)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you deserved it (105641)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37231) - you deserved it (18355)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

#12070882
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8763) - you deserved it (39016)

On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30129) - you deserved it (13575)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39892) - you deserved it (4008)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

#12000759
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9677) - you deserved it (32919)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:33am - misc - by Speedy (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10046) - you deserved it (35862)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47705) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16847) - you deserved it (39038)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24089) - you deserved it (7503)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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