Ouroboros

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Ouroboros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8205
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's page activity

Visits<b>anonymuse</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:37am<b>mcspazz731</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:39am<b>katie55220</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:46am<b>idonotknow7</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 12:18am<b>Nusa1</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:02am<b>tetsuhiko</b> - the 04/23/2010 at 12:38am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 10:10am<b>wienerwagon</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 7:59pm<b>Memoohhh</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 4:02am<b>GinandJenkem</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 8:33pm<b>ZeroMachine</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 6:54pm<b>Sindyy</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 5:12am<b>angrynegro7</b> - the 03/18/2010 at 12:12am<b>wingedspiritus</b> - the 02/18/2010 at 6:59pm

Ouroboros's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

by jkin47 / 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

by anon / 07/26/2010 at 12:22am / United States / Work

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

by anon / 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

by Not So Smart / 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

by notmuchfun / 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

by Speedy / 07/20/2010 at 9:33am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Transportation

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

by magnolia / 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

by Camille / 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

by Criminal / 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (South Dakota) / Transportation

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

by LexiBoBexi / 07/12/2010 at 1:38am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

by RachelVanLannen9 / 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

by leapple / 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love