Ouroboros

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Ouroboros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7972
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's page activity

Visits<b>anonymuse</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:37am<b>mcspazz731</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:39am<b>katie55220</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:46am<b>idonotknow7</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 12:18am<b>Nusa1</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:02am<b>tetsuhiko</b> - the 04/23/2010 at 12:38am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 10:10am<b>wienerwagon</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 7:59pm<b>Memoohhh</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 4:02am<b>GinandJenkem</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 8:33pm<b>ZeroMachine</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 6:54pm<b>Sindyy</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 5:12am<b>angrynegro7</b> - the 03/18/2010 at 12:12am<b>wingedspiritus</b> - the 02/18/2010 at 6:59pm

Ouroboros's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

by hard / 08/09/2010 at 3:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

by L.Lime05 / 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

by XxDanno316xX / 08/08/2010 at 10:52am / United States / Work

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

by Lola / 08/08/2010 at 10:32am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

by joe / 08/08/2010 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that's not weird enough, it's about a 2 mile walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML

by sicufovoshxbsjdk / 08/06/2010 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

by JDLAX1924 / 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

by Tired / 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

by Luke / 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Love