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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5289) - you deserved it (14962)
On 01/30/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by pop_rox - United States (Georgia)
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (2099)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)
Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3603) - you deserved it (28366)
On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7195) - you deserved it (23900)
On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)
Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (536)
On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9280) - you deserved it (1642)
On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12617) - you deserved it (1632)
On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12764) - you deserved it (2158)
On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15116) - you deserved it (4193)
On 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm - love - by sneezer - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14359) - you deserved it (1144)
On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12545) - you deserved it (1256)
On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version
Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9510) - you deserved it (6679)
On 12/20/2008 at 3:16am - misc - by Rabzouz - Sent from mobile version
Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (2206)
On 12/18/2008 at 11:30am - misc - by ladyhead - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)
Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12649) - you deserved it (19329)
On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17046) - you deserved it (15115)
On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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