Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ouroboros

Search for a member

Ouroboros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4735
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ouroboros's last visitors

katie55220tetsuhikoRedPillSuckswienerwagonMemoohhhGinandJenkemSindyyangrynegro7wingedspiritus

Ouroboros's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML

#3651
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6852) - you deserved it (20704)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by pop_rox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (2644)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4324) - you deserved it (35008)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (29413)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (2349)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

#1020
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12690) - you deserved it (2319)

On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13238) - you deserved it (1679)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16347) - you deserved it (2842)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

#626
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16674) - you deserved it (5104)

On 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm - love - by sneezer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16745) - you deserved it (1517)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

#559
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14631) - you deserved it (1630)

On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

#556
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12651) - you deserved it (9228)

On 12/20/2008 at 3:16am - misc - by Rabzouz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML

#546
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13302) - you deserved it (2799)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:30am - misc - by ladyhead - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14353) - you deserved it (24307)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (20265)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: