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Ouroboros

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Ouroboros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4714
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14153) - you deserved it (31709)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (1562)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

#7806645
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (2002)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:34am - love - by BaldingQuick (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I woke up and went to go have a shower. The trouble is, my bedroom door is broken and will no longer open. My mother's idea of helping was pushing a note under the door saying she'll be back in a couple of hours. FML

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

#7552135
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51192) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

#7551052
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13654) - you deserved it (4652)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by meggasee - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17002) - you deserved it (2650)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

#7477467
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24574) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm - kids - by nocatlover (man) - United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (12135)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26478) - you deserved it (2081)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

#7353412
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24406) - you deserved it (5215)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:02am - love - by Rin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

#7333121
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25647) - you deserved it (3128)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

#7321646
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7694) - you deserved it (27394)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - love - by cowgurl91 - Sent from mobile version



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