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Ouroboros

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Ouroboros
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4726
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouroboros's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (11293)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99615) - you deserved it (5896) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (9624)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26697) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12146) - you deserved it (22619)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6860) - you deserved it (44842)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (13768)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML

#12887951
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2005)

On 09/03/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

#12842003
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/31/2010 at 6:33pm - misc - by nemi (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36160) - you deserved it (7382)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

#12836034
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (3542)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:46am - love - by kp - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

#12823670
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (7016)

On 08/30/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (2887)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)



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